the duotang of lies

funny, in a way that even you can appreciate, ass.

WWUD? April 27, 2007

Filed under: bored at work — duotangoflies @ 3:59 pm

don’t get me wrong.  i love me some jebus.  but sometimes unicorns have good ideas in dicey situations too.

i know when i was close to losing my cool in traffic, spinning that wheel and nuzzling a newborn made all the difference.

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big ups to boing boing for this.

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falsi-lexi of the day (II) – “bluffy-lexi” April 24, 2007

Filed under: falsilexi — duotangoflies @ 10:08 am

bluffy-lexi (v.) :  the clever use of a falsi-lexi, so as noone is aware that they’ve been falsi-lexi’d.

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Examples:  1)  (in bad french) “avant que je puisses bluffé-lexé.”

                     2) (english) “Bob knew that electronical wasn’t really a word, but the speed at which he said it allowed him to bluffy-lexi his way through while maintaining his air of charm and mystery.”

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 Big ups to Jeff for the contribution.

 

falsi-lexi of the day – “Pakerazzi”

Filed under: falsilexi — duotangoflies @ 9:18 am

Pakerazzi (n.):  a non-freelance photographer that takes incessant pictures of his family, with a specific focus on his granddaughter.  Whereas as Pake means grandfather in Friesian.

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 Example:  “Amelia’s 2nd birthday party was great fun for all – we have proof because the Pakerazzi took 90 pictures. No, really, he took 90.”

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 And here – a rare photo of the Pakerazzi, sans camera:

 

 

unbelievable twists of fate. April 23, 2007

Filed under: tribute — duotangoflies @ 7:53 pm

so because life is bloody ridiculous at the best of times, my other grandfather got called away last week. so that’s two grandfathers in 3 weeks.  do the math – it just isn’t good odds.

 my mum’s dad, the venerable grandpapa, passed at the ripe ole age of 90.  some facts about grandpapa:

 1)  he liked to feed you – anything with either a high fat or sugar content (this is a man who wouldn’t kick a bacon fat sandwich out of bed).  if you didnt take the food, he’d advise you to (a) not be shy, and (b) that he’d put it in your pocket.

2)  grandpapa rocked some amazing fashions and would, if i may opine, fit in quite well in my hood.  polyester baby blue with a snowflake pattern and a zipper instead of buttons?  f*ck yeah, that’s his favourite shirt!

3)  grandpapa would call you 5 different names until he got to yours.  this was not just an “old age” issue.  my mother is officially known as “nicole, michelle, therese, cindy, denise”

4) he was a tailor that came from st. albert, the place where the best darned cheese on this continent is made.  and that’s simply fantastic.

So, to Grandpapa, as to Superpake, a big old wave goodbye.

 

falsi-lexi of the day – “fauxga” April 13, 2007

Filed under: falsilexi — duotangoflies @ 12:08 pm

fauxga (n): 

Where real “Yoga” (as I’ve heard it named) would be the following:

1. a school of Hindu philosophy advocating and prescribing a course of physical and mental disciplines for attaining liberation from the material world and union of the self with the Supreme Being or ultimate principle.
2. any of the methods or disciplines prescribed, esp. a series of postures and breathing exercises practiced to achieve control of the body and mind, tranquillity, etc.

“Fauxga” is yoga done with your 2 year old daughter, or with your sister-in-law who keeps giggling at the woman hosting  the video because (a) her name is Sarah Ivanhoe and (b) she keeps changing her voice from upper west side to jewish mother from the bronx.  “Fauxga” involves falling over at random intervals while keeping the pose intact. 

“Fauxga” example:  the bucket pose

Big ups to Leash for making this one up.

 

so it goes. April 12, 2007

Filed under: tribute — duotangoflies @ 4:51 pm

Yesterday, one of my favourite authors, Monsieur Kurt Vonnegut Jr., died.  Personally I’m really over this whole death thing lately.  But either way… I’ll have a glass of wine for you tonight.

 

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.” – K.V.

 

Happy Easter! April 5, 2007

Filed under: Holiday Cheer — duotangoflies @ 7:38 am

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 big ups to Jess for the share.