Every Monday, El and I like to get together and watch the patient and benevolent Gordon Ramsay tear people new poopshoots on Hell’s Kitchen.
If you haven’t watched Hell’s Kitchen, well, the season finale is on next Monday on CityTV. Which leads me to the real point of this. CityTV, I have noticed over the years, likes to play the same 3 or 4 commercials during each time slot. Week after week of Hell’s Kitchen and El and I have become all too familiar with them. Familiar to the point of analysing them. Familiar to the point that we thought a post should actually exist. Sad.
1) Roger’s Wireless starring the weird all-pupils-no-irises guy and the super hot blonde guy in a tan suit. I wasn’t able to find a still from this particular ad. Basically the freaky all-pupils-no-iris guy has issues with his phone coverage and super hot blonde guy in a tan suit has no problems at all. What should be noted here is the following: (A) Good looking people make wiser decisions when it comes to their cellular provider. (B) The way to prove you have good coverage is to put on a tan suit and go on some sort of transport device (i.e. escalator or elevator). (C) Just because super hot blonde guy in a tan suit is super hot and in a commerical for cell phones doesn’t mean that he wants to call you. *triste*
2) Swiss Chalet’s family reunion rained in – we can’t possibly bring the food we’ve prepared indoors and must therefore go have rotisserie chicken. Our concerns with this ad are numerous: (A) We undertand how rain can “dampen” an outdoor family reunion, but do you people live outside? Don’t you at least live in some sort of dwelling, into which you can bring the food and then eat it? Are they mutually exclusive ideas – family reuinions (at least dwelling-based ones) and rain? (B) Now relocated to Swiss Chalet, the family is super happy and feels compensated for their 4 hour drive. The bestest part? Little 8 year old girl gets to have tomato and cucumber salad! OH BOY! *huge maniac eyes* This is ludicrous. First, basically no normal kid likes that, and second, even if they do, it isn’t some fantastic treat, some elvin-forged super delicacy that Swiss Chalet has exclusively made available. It’s two basic vegetables commonly found in North America. Seriously. I think there’s wild cucumber growing in the ditch near my apartment.
3) CityTV weather guy (Harold’s “replacement”) Can’t See It Can’t Track It spot. Okay, granted, this is CityTV we’re watching, but I’m a little bitter at the absence of Harold Hussein, and this “new guy” really gets my goat. What’s more, I beg to differ – I can’t actually see my UPS parcel, but if I go to UPS.ca and put in my tracking code it does tell me where it’s at. Non-visual tracking – a viable possibilty in this, the Information Age.
4) KY massage oil on a yacht – everyone’s favourite weekend activity. This is a strange one. Not sure what they think the demographic is watching Hell’s Kitchen, but apparently it must include sun-soaked nubile women who enjoy a good frolic on their yacht. As El always says, there’s nothing she enjoys more than prancing around on her yacht, being chased by her beau, who upon catching her, gives her a massage. *mirth*