the duotang of lies

funny, in a way that even you can appreciate, ass.

Investigative Report Guest Post: HUMANITY DOOM-WATCH UPDATE January 28, 2009

Filed under: Guest Postie — duotangoflies @ 10:06 am

— “Take this!” shouts vengeful God while pumping fist —

By Roaming Reporter Jeffxa, Defender of Safety First.

About one year ago, almost to the day, it was deemed by me – trusty and full of hope as I was – that Humanity was not doomed, as a nice lady saved my briefcase and associated wallet-based contents from disaster by a) picking them up, b) notifying me of her find and then c) providing all the goods back to me with no reward taken beyond a hearty thank-you and thumbs-up.

Well.  Turns out that she just got the worst post-Christmas gift ever.  A Toronto Police Services cruiser… parked, sort of, in her living room. 


Also, it turns out, the police officer managed to avoid the samaritan, but killed her goldfish.  Lousy cop cars.  What they should have used are the amazing cop super-horses which can overtake Audis.  That is, of course, assuming that the fish-o-take-out-o was not the actual objective.


Regardless, the moral of the story is, if you do somebody a nice favour, better build some kind of huge safety wall around your house, because once the MAN hears of your nice deed, he’s going to even the score… with prejudice.

*big ups to The Toronto Star and Wikipedia for the photos.