the duotang of lies

funny, in a way that even you can appreciate, ass.

Falsi-Lexi of the Day: “Hikey McLeaverson” February 19, 2009

Filed under: falsilexi — duotangoflies @ 9:04 am

Hikey McLeaverson. HAHYK-ee mick-LEEV-er-suhn (v.) The act of going out of or away from a location; generally related to the weekday afternoon act of departing from one’s place of employment.


Example: See below.



Filed under: Uncategorized — duotangoflies @ 8:47 am

–Offended wealthy dowager crumpes, swoons, proclaims “my stars!”–

Apparently there is no real law against people doing exceedingly stupid things to and with their cars. Working in an 8-storey structure housing a variety of knowledge-based companies and their associated employees who – it stands to reason – are full of “knowledge”, I presumed that I would be immune to the following, yet, it turns out, I am not. In fact, the other day, I found the newest means to send me over the deep end into a rage-filled flight of fancywords.

Past winners:
A. The Super-window-cling

B. The Super-tissue

New champion:
C. The Super-marvellous-paint-job-of-awesomeness

This car – parked on the top of the multi-story parking garage, no less – displayed a full-fledged-flaunting of the norms of civil society with its use of a) colour, b) fencing, c) mythical creatures in frightening poses and d) inappropriate vanity plates (not shown for privacy… but let me assure you that it was both hateful and poorly spelled). Frankly, if it weren’t for the existence of the Seven-of-Nine-PT-Cruiser, I would deem this the craziest car in history.


Newsflash! Ghosts Spooky, Frogs Slippery, Christopher Walken Lettuce Lover. February 6, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — duotangoflies @ 12:53 pm

In a concerted effort to eat healthy and waste as much of my money as possible, I have become a fan of Lettuce Eatery, located conveniently in two foodcourts near my cubule. These eateries, as it were, are generally managed by one person, defined by their lack of apron, who orders their salad compiling minions to and fro depending on customer fancy.


And who better to give orders and know you’re going to take them than Christopher Walken? That’s right, despite what you may have “heard”, Christopher Walken is currently fulfilling his destiny by running the Lettuce Eatery in the TD Building food court in Toronto’s financial district. I know. Wow.


Roaming Reporter Jeffxa has suggested that for the purpose of investigatoryism, some sort of documented evidence should be obtained. A picture, or maybe even a quickly drawn charcoal sketch. Anyone who knows anything about Christopher Walken knows that there’s no way this can be done and the safety of our person preserved. So, instead, we’ve created the following near-identical representation:




And, in the interest of science, here’s some ‘math’ that clearly ‘proves’ that the presence of Christopher Walken at my local salad eatery is not just some fanciful notion floating around in my cervelle:


little green bag = reservoir dogs = tarantino = pulp fiction = christopher walken.