— Guest Post Writer Struck Down by Un-amused God. ‘Enough with the shenanigans’ says He.–
While reading the news this morning I came across the following article where the current Pope suggests that in order to fight AIDS in Africa, condom use should be stopped, to be replaced with abstinence. Not *absinthe* which would have been super cool for a Pope to say.
Anyhow, turns out, this decree was made on the Pope’s plane. PLANE.
It should be noted that in fact, the Pope doesn’t own a plane, it’s chartered. No custom mile-high baptisms. However, there are other things the Pope owns:
1. The Papal Tiara.. er, there are several… tiari.2. The Popemobile. In unrelated product-tie-ins, the car is a Mercedes.
3. King Henry VIII’s divorce-request letters.
4. High-high Fashiony Goods.
At Press Time, it remains unclear if the Pope owns a Pope Sprinker. If he has any self-respect, the answer will be yes.