the duotang of lies

funny, in a way that even you can appreciate, ass.

egads! déjà une année! February 6, 2008

Filed under: Taking over the world — duotangoflies @ 10:52 am

That’s right, possums! The Duotang of Lies turns 1 today. In celebration, we’ll be going to work, trudging through slush, and then later, trudge through slush to get home and hibernate. But this will be fancy hibernating—1st year anniversary style—attended* by celebrities (and everyone loves celebrities), and there may even be some special snacks†.

anniversary.jpg

 * meant to be taken antonymically.

† quite unlikely.

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The CIA – kid friendly and dog loving December 11, 2007

Filed under: Taking over the world — duotangoflies @ 2:41 pm

My mustachioed colleague, of moustache fame, shared an important and informative site with me today.  Sure, one may generally think of cloaks, daggers, blue canoes flying at midnight, and other mysterious stuff when discussing the CIA, but after a gander at this fine site your view will change. ‘Cause the CIA, dear readers, isn’t all about subversive plots to undermine world leaders who don’t want to pander to the American agenda.  It’s also about kids, learning, fun and, most importantly, doggies.

https://www.cia.gov/kids-page/k-5th-grade/the-cia-k-9-corps/index.html

Some fun facts about doggies of the CIA:

1) Bonja, a really friendly German Shepherd, was sad when she first joined the CIA, because she couldn’t play with her toys; sad that is, until she realised that if she just followed the smell of explosives, she could play all she wanted! *joy*

2)  Eric, the Belgian Malinois, enjoys drooling and, from what I gather from his personal page, speaks Dutch!

3)  Sure, Garcia may have been “helpful” as a Seeing Eye dog, but he didn’t have nearly as much street cred as he does now, helping sniff out bombs and such.  Seeing Eye Dog?  I mean really.  That’s just another example of leftist idealism.

Apparently, the CIA also believes in some good old-fashioned values.  Their dogs don’t live in sin. Not like the dogs in some cultures.  I think you know what I mean. *stare*

 

Duotang of Lies Hiring Announcement: Moxie September 24, 2007

Filed under: aminal of the day,Taking over the world — duotangoflies @ 9:57 am

We know it’s been quiet around here lately.  This is not, however, due to inactivity on the part of the staff of the DoL.  We have, behind the scenes, been searching fastidiously for a new member, and last Monday we were pleased to find a suitable candidate.

Moxie boasts an impressive curriculum vitae, which includes an undercover investigation of at least one humane society and who has been known to dedicate himself to his craft to the point of staying in a park tied to a tree for what can only be described as a “significant amount of time”.

While Moxie is illiterate, at least that we currently know of, his ability to unabashedly hump the air and his love of fact-finding will undoubtebly prove invaluable to the DoL in its mission to take over the world (which, to be honest, could use a bit of a boost).

 He also, it should be noted, sports a jaunty hat.

 Please join the editor and roaming reporter in welcoming DoL’s newest staff. 

 

Attention! World! Duotang of Lies Influences Nationally Syndicated Broadsheet! July 27, 2007

Filed under: Taking over the world — duotangoflies @ 1:19 pm

When was it…like…last week that I mentioned how much I’m loving fun “Brit” sayings like “Just not cricket!”.

 Well looky here:

cricket.jpg

I know there’s no such thing as a “big” coincidence or a “small” coincidence, but this, beloved ‘tang readers, this is way too much. I honestly had no idea that this was the sort of attention we were getting.  *Bite knuckle and look skywards*

 

hiatus? not quite. July 16, 2007

Filed under: Taking over the world — duotangoflies @ 3:52 pm

It would appear that the ‘tang’s influence is far-reaching; like some sort of giant squid, but not nearly as sinister or inky.  How do I know this?  Simple.  The good people at Torontoist enjoyed our DoL Great Sprinkle Donut Challenge so much that they have recruited us to write up some more for them.  *high five*

squid.jpg

Wednesday at approximately 2 PM (EST) check out torontoist.com for the first Great Torontoist Challenge – Frozen Edition.

The DoL is still alive and well, so don’t fret.  More to come!